Life doesn’t change overnight. There’s usually little changes that trickle in one by one, usually a moment where you sense the old falling away and the new coming in, little by little.
When I’m in a season of transformation or transition, I go from giddy excitement for all the new things coming up, to wistfulness and nostalgia for the time I’m still in, but which is ending soon.
For example, last year at this time my husband was about to graduate, which meant our life in our little college town in our little rental house, with our little circle of friends, was all about to change. And while I looked forward to the future with excitement (college living does get old after a while), there was still sadness. Never again would the exact combination of people and experiences all be together in a single place, never again would we have the experience of living in our first home together as a married couple. I cried when we left our house, and when we visit the town, I still can’t go down our old street without getting choked up.
While now, nearly a year later, I can look back and be super glad that life is vastly different (did I mention that college living gets old after a while?) there’s still a nostalgia and a wistfulness for the way things were. And yet, without the transformation of my husband graduating and us getting new jobs and moving away, the ways in which I have grown, the ways in which my life has improved, would have never happened. That moment of transition was full of contrasting emotions, but it was only by getting through them that I could experience a completely new life on the other side.
The transition from winter to spring is like that, too. We’re in the first week of March now (what!?!), and we only have a month left together here on this blog. While March is *technically* when we start to think spring, in reality the transition is a lot more mixed, a lot more gradual. There’s a giddy excitement toward spring and the way our daily life will change with it, but also a nostalgia, a wistfulness for the quiet and coziness of winter.
For myself, I can’t help but look forward to warmer weather and pretty colors. But I also know that this transformation will mean a change of pace, a busier time of travel and activity that winter sort of excuses us from. I look forward to the season ahead, but I still want to enjoy the season I’m still in, the season I’ll leave behind very soon.
And I don’t know about you, but I also tend to feel guilty that I’m not “enjoying” a season to its fullest. When it’s still winter but I’m looking ahead to spring, when It’s summer and I can’t wait for the first crisp day of fall, I feel bad. Shouldn’t I be enjoying every last drop of this season I’m in? Shouldn’t I not be so restless, so impatient?
Yes, there is something to be said for enjoying the moment. I mean, that’s what this blog has been about since December 21st. But I think, especially in a season of transformation, that our restlessness, our excitement for the new phase of life, is the catalyst, the juice that gets us there. Without that restless longing for the next season, I think we’d tend to get sluggish, and stay in old seasons longer than we maybe should. If I wasn’t excited and looking forward to the new season post-graduation, perhaps my sadness to leave our little house and college town would’ve kept me from moving on when I needed to.
This transition from winter to spring allows us a moment to thank the old season for what it’s done for us, while looking ahead to the new season and all it has in store. We can think about the ways we’ve grown and changed. We can anticipate how we’ll grow and change in the future.
What are you leaving behind and looking forward to this spring?